Gables Here I Come!

I am declaring vacation from this moment forward!

I'll return on August 4th, hopefully muchos hungover and bitchier than ever.

Have a great week!

Yay Or Nay?

Call C.A.S. ASAP. This is not cute.

Mel B gave her daughter Angel a Mohawk, not a Fauxhawk and actual shaved to the skin Mohawk.

I'm gonna give this one a NAY and a HELL NA.

Baby News

Kelis has given birth to a son named Knight Jones.

Nas tried to go to the birth last night after one of his concerts but was turned away because he was drunk. Luckily Kelis was in labour for three days so he got a chance to sober up and be there when the kid came out.

A little story for the baby book.





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Here We Go Again

Lindsay Lohan was spotted leaving Samantha Ronson's house with a bag full of clothes, this come just after news that Samantha and Lindsay had a huge fight about Samantha hanging out with Drea de Matteo the other night.

Apparently Samantha threw Lindsay's stuff out the window and they had a screaming match earlier this week.

Can' these two just get some Birkenstocks, a rainbow bumper sticker, an asian baby and call it a day? Seriously it's getting old, actually it was getting old like 6 months ago, now it's just stupid.





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Court Appearance

Amy Winehouse threw on her good hair and headed to court this morning.

She's up against assault charge after she gave a fan the beatdown when they asked for her autograph.

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Here's an interview Mischa Barton did with Handbag.com outside Harrod's in London at the end of June. She's completely ruined.

She's all british accented up like Britney when she was mid fly over the cuckoo's nest.

UPDATE:

It's not loading click here to view.

Miss Piggy's Gonna Cut This Bitch

Lady Gaga wears Kermit.

Ridiculous.

Katie Thinks She Can Dance

Katie Holmes will be appearing on tonight's episode of So You Think You Can Dance, she's performing a tribute to Judy Garland for the show's 100th episode.

Katie's been rehearsing for a while being as the performance includes both dancing and singing.

Let's take a walk down memory lane and watch Miss Josephine Potter sing at the Capeside beauty pageant. GD Greatness.

Talks With Pitt

Some quotes from an interview Brad Pitt did with Bild, a the German Magazine.

BILD: Do you believe in God?

Brad Pitt (smiling): “No, no, no!”

BILD: Is your soul spiritual?

Brad Pitt: “No, no, no! I’m probably 20 per cent atheist and 80 per cent agnostic. I don’t think anyone really knows. You’ll either find out or not when you get there, until then there’s no point thinking about it.”

BILD: Are you scared of aging?

Brad Pitt (smirking): The grey hairs on his beard glisten: “No I like it. I think it’s good.”

BILD: What is your typical day as a dad?

Brad Pitt: “I get going early, make breakfast, get the kids dressed, brush their teeth and take them to school. Angelina is working at the moment. We take turns.”

BILD: Angelina told me once about your giant bed where all eight of you snuggle up?

Brad Pitt: “Yes we have a 3 metre wide bed, but even that isn’t big enough. They all come crawling in in the morning. It’s just about surviving! We all have sleep deprivation.”

BILD: Do you find the time to make love?

Brad Pitt (looks puzzled): What?

BILD: Is it sometimes just the two of you?

Brad Pitt: “Yes we make time for ourselves. It’s very important for every relationship.”

BILD: How? Do you fly off somewhere?

Brad Pitt: “That’s a trade secret!”

BILD: Your answers are very short and quick.

Brad Pitt (beaming): “Ha! I’m a father of six. You have to be quick and focused.”

And one word, HOTNESS.

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Tweedil D and Tweedil Douche

If you were ever on the fence about Jon Gosselin, you know you thought he was a douche but couldn't quite convince yourself, here's the news that will send you over the edge.

Jon and Kate Major (The reporter from Star Mag) went to the Hampton's to hang out with Michael Lohan. Yep that Lohan.

"Jon is a friend, he's a great guy, he needed a place to get away to, and my
doors were open to him and Kate Major," Lohan tells PEOPLE. "Jon and Kate
[Major] are good friends of mine. She's with him [at Lohan's house]. Kate's like
a daughter to me. When she needed a place my doors were open."

Lindsay's career has taken a nose dive (literally) into a big pile of coke and Jack Daniels so Michael saw someone who was actually getting press and decided to leech on.

How could someone be friends with such a vile person like Michael Lohan. Jon Gosselin wasn't always my fave but now it's certain, Jon is DEAD TO ME! I'm sure this will effect his life greatly.

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Wednesday: Cover Day

Us, Star and InTouch go Gosselin.

OK and People go Twilight.

Life & Style goes for the ever popular bikini body cover.




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Sad

Gidget, the chihuahua who rocketed to fame in the Taco Bell Ads passed away at 15 from a stroke.

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Charlize Does Soccer

Charliza Theron stopped by the 2009 World Football Challenge in Pasadena. Chelsea FC and Inter Milan played and the proceeds wen to Theron's Africa Outreach Project.

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I gotta give credit where credit is due, usually Jennifer Garner looks like the subject on What Not To Wear but on the set of her new film My Valentine she looked great.

Make it translate. A good blow out can last you 3 days honey.

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Britney and Co. go for a walk in Sweden.

I'm gonna have to give her boyfriend's outfit a big ole NO.

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Boo Hoo Bitch

I really wish Katherine Heigl would pull an Izzy and flat line because I hate her.

Here she is on David Letterman promoting her new movie and she complains about being on Grey's Anatomy for about the first 4 minutes of the interview.

Just be happy they haven't realized what an asshole you are and are carrying out your contract. Dumb ass.

Dunzo

Remember a while back when there was some F List drama with Eddie and LeAnn Rimes cheating with each other? Yeah it was back in June. Well Eddie's wife, Brandi Glanville, just got around to leaving his ass now. She tells Us Weekly:

"Eddie and I have decided to take some time apart. I want to do what is best
for our children. Eddie and LeAnn deserve each other."

Did she have some mani pedis she wanted to get out of the way before she broke it off? What the hell took so long, he cheated, with LEANN RIMES! Not even with someone good.

Side note: Brandi's not usually not the name of the one that gets cheated on but rather the mistress, no?

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Seth Does Not Approve

Uh oh, we've got some drama.

On Sunday's episode of Entourage Turtle seemed to be obsessed with Seth Rogen and how it would be impossible for him to get a girl like Katherine Heigl pregnant, or even sleep with her at all.

Well here's what Seth had to say about the episode:

“Yeah, those guys are assholes. I actually ran into Matt…Kevin Dillon in a
Starbucks. And he’s like ‘you know, I’ve got to kind of apologize because
apparently the guy who created our show doesn’t like you so much.’ And I said
‘well I have reason to believe because I think [showrunner] Doug Ellin is a
moron from all I can understand so it makes sense he doesn’t like me.’ And I’ve
kind of said some disparaging things about the show. Although in our defense,
[producer] Mark Wahlberg called us misogynistic in an interview, so I think they
kind of started that…It’s on. Luckily I never have and never plan on watching
Entourage.”

Ah man, what is this Hillary Duff and Lindsay Lohan take two?

Just suck it up, take one on the chin for ugly dudes everywhere and move on before I start hating you.

Keep talking shite about Entourage and I'm gonna have to cut you.


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Premiere

Funny People premiered in Los Angeles and the cast flocked. So did the celebs.

The films about a comedian who's told he's gonna die, he deals with it but then he doesn't end up dying after all. Click here for the full trailer.

The film features Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Eric Bana, Leslie Mann, Ken Jeong, Jason Schwartzman, Sarah Silverman and Andy Dick.

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Slipping Back To Brit?

Britney's hair is starting to look like my doll Casandra's did after 5 years of abuse from my brother, it doesn't look like there's a bra on board here either.

She's also going to be free from Papa Spears soon as well.

Sources tell us Jamie Spears will ask the court to review the terms of
the conservatorship after her concert tour ends in November. Jamie can't ask the
judge to end it -- just to review it. The judge then decides if Britney should
regain control of her life.

We're told Jamie thinks Britney is ready to roll on her own. He has
made her life his full time job since February, 2008.

The vendors of the tour were promised that the conservatorship would last through out her Circus Tour so they will have to keep that up but as soon as the tour's over she's a free woman.

No word on if we'll be back to high life midnight drives to Rite Aide to buy giant horses and cheesy puffs.

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